I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
