Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
