I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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