Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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