I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
