More tranny stories later!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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