there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
