how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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