I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
