There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
