So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
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Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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