And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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