i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
