i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
