end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
