I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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