it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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