K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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