Cold hands, warm shart.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
