dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
