Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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