You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
