it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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