In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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