I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
