At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
