I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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