dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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