If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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