Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
