Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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