I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
