It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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