I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Congratulations! We have a period
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