just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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