I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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