Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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