strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
