I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
