Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
