I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
