You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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