I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
