i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
