Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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