great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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