If that was your dad, he is hot
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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