Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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