girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
