I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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