Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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