i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
