Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
bring money and cleavage
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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