I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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