I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
