think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of course I have a pirate flag
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
